Right now I am processing some unexpected grief and loss. I was sitting in service at Agape and I was thinking about how I have in the season been processing thinking about Bob Proctor's prompt in it's not about the money book where he discusses what it means to prioritize. And the specific prompt that he shares ask what would your life be like what would you be doing with your life if you were told you had one year left to live. I promise really stuck out to me and I have been rolling it around in my mind and in my spirit. But as I was sitting at Agape and taking in all the delicious Vibes and reflecting how I am Divine Life and how when I go to Agape I am embodying the version of me that has arrested a beautiful spiritual community and I'm sitting there just taking it all in as the Legacy continues with my children. Or one of my children. And that idea bumped up against my what would you do if you only have one near left to live thought process. Because if I'm embodying my 90-year-old self and wanting to have that for my life how can I simultaneously hold the thought of dying by the next 11 months? So as I was processing this I recognize I went into my spirit and ask what are you feeling what's going on here because I was getting some Sensations and so I just asked for clarity can what my spirit said was like I'm feeling fear I'm feeling frustration anger and feeling grief I'm feeling lost. And while I was sort of like okay with the fear the anger the grief and loss took me back a little bit. And I asked why are my griefing what is being grieved here and it came to me that I am having to miscarry a collection of ideas about myself and things that I wanted to bring to life so that I can focus on nurturing what my spirit wants to do within this next 11 months. When we have ideas we tend to change them when necessary and not give it too much thought. We say to ourselves I guess I have to do something different so that I can do a new thing. And we rarely take the time to recognize that ideas are life ideas are things. And just like when we grieve life or when we misplace we're break something we are attached to that requires grieving. And so I came to the understanding that I hadn't fully grieved the idea of being the birth of these ideas and these ideas being things that I wanted to bring to life or to hold in my hands. Especially because these are part of the vision that I believe God has for me. So I am taking in healing through this moment of grieving so that I can truly Focus on the life that is presently in my hands.
PS if you don't know I am a spiritual coach and I curate community experiences to support people with their self-awareness and spiritual expansion so if that is something that you're interested in definitely reach out we have our coaching groups and workshops and online challenges so make sure you check out the what the rest of the website to see what calls to you and I look forward to connecting with you.
I am rooting for the authentic you on this healing journey!
Many blessings,
Angelique
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