Childhood is a beautiful magical time for many of us but it can also be a time of incredible trauma. Whether your childhood was quote on quote perfect or it was filled with abuse and neglect and rejection, when we become adults that childhood history is a package that needs to be unpacked if we want to thrive in our adult life. While there are many things that can be unpacked from my own childhood, which I will go through in different posts, on this blog today I want to specifically unpack and investigate my having to heal through being rewarded and celebrated based on Athletics and academics. The amount of attention place on my academics and Athletics seem to be fairly normal or average in consideration to some parents who are very very strict about grades and very very adamant about performing well in sports activities. I was raised in a way where I was expected to do well in school and that didn't wait too heavy on me because I naturally enjoyed school I enjoyed learning new things I enjoyed doing different activities and being with my peers it was actually one of my favorite places to be. I really didn't enjoy just sitting around at home I wasn't really allowed to play with the neighborhood kids because of the area that we grew up in but at school I was surrounded by people my own age and I could speak to them and play with them openly and freely. The same as fairly true for athletics. I Am Naturally athletic and high energy and I have good high hand eye coordination and I work well with a team because I enjoy being with people and contributing to a collective. I now recognize how much my parental validation was rooted in those two areas and how that subconsciously contributed to my enjoyment of them. I didn't fully comprehend how it impacted my perspective of my value and what I'm expected to do in life and in the world.
I wasn't given the same amount of attention or appreciation for being curious and creative or being a kind person and a good listener. For being somebody who was introspective and willing to learn larger life Concepts. In fact when it came to my creativity and curiosity I was often reprimanded or dismissed because of it. And now recognizing how much I personally appreciate those things about myself I found myself questioning why they weren't more appreciated in my childhood. We can often get into a mindset that if our parents had supported us in a way that is more aligned with what we are wanting to do now that we would be further along. Have you ever found yourself wishing that your mom or dad or Grandma had supported you more with your dance career or with your entrepreneurial ideas or with another aspect of yourself that you are looking to grow in your present adult life? I was definitely a mindset that I had to heal through. Learning to navigate that truth of parents doing the best that they know how to do to the best of their ability while also understanding that it is now my responsibility to do my best for myself is challenging. There's this social common idea that parents are meant to set their children up for the best success possible. And to some degree that is 100% true. However most people aren't parented or talk to parents in a way where they are elevating a child's natural gift. Most people are conditioned to be aware of what a soul seeking expression looks like in a child. So parents tend to go based off of societal standards expectations things that they are parents expected of them things that they wanted to do in their childhood but didn't get the opportunity to because of lack of resources or experiences or accessibility and it creates a Blinder to what this unique Soul came through them to be. I'm grateful for the community of individuals that I have found myself amongst. Many of them have gone through incredible challenges in their childhood as far as violence or sexual assaults or navigating parents with addictions. And even with that in this season that we found ourselves sharing space with one another they are becoming Gladiators for change they are recognizing how they can be parents that are more conscious. They're recognizing that their challenges can be shared through content and speaking and put on a megaphone so that others can learn from them about things that they can things that can be different when raising our children. In this day and age academics and Athletics are not as hot as they used to be. There is so many opportunities that have cropped up over the last 5 to 10 taping 15 years that have expanded the acceptance of creativity and curiosity in our children. With this age of the internet young people are now able to become the key income earners in a households whether that be through streaming video games or being influencers or editing videos they have these different options that bring results in a more tangible way more quickly than it was possible in my childhood. And that's a beautiful thing because it gives children more options to really explore what it is that they came in this world to do and be. However there is still the mentality or the mindset of a lot of parents to push their children in one specific Direction More Than the child naturally feels called to go in that direction even with things like creating content or being a video game professional. That's why I think it's so important that we hold space for our young people to explore and to learn and to be exposed to a variety of opportunities and not pigeonhole them or box them in before they decide what they really are lit up by.
For me I have discovered that I am lit up by holding space for people to be and explore themselves I'm lit up by listening and having expansive conversations even more so than I'm lit up by the idea of being a globally renowned artist painter. And I'm grateful that I get to explore that now in my adulthood fully because I have released this idea that those parts of myself are not valid. I release the idea of having to perform tasks to get approval for grades or having to be physically attractive or strong in order to get love or respect because while I do appreciate assistance for how they can streamline things or I and I do love my body and do my best to keep it healthy and strong those are not ways that I want to serve in the world or how I feel most authentically expressed. But of course this is something that I am going to continue to be healing through life is a healing journey and it's only over once I am no longer in this physical form. So I'm sure there will be moments as my career unfolds as I become a mother myself that I will be faced with more of this approval and validation for things that are not actually in alignment with what I believe to be my calling. And that's the beauty of having a community of people who are on this journey to I'll get to have people who are willing to hold space for me like I'm willing to hold space for other people. So yeah
PS if you don't know I am a spiritual coach and I curate community experiences to support people with their self-awareness and spiritual expansion so if that is something that you're interested in definitely reach out we have our coaching groups and workshops and online challenges so make sure you check out the what the rest of the website to see what calls to you and I look forward to connecting with you.
I am rooting for the authentic you on this healing journey!
Many blessings,
Angelique
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